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Dumb Blonde Jokes On Phone

A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
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Funny Blonde Jokes On Typing

A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “What do I do now? I’m almost out of typing paper.” “Just use the copier machine paper,” replied the other secretary. With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.
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Dirty Blonde Jokes In The Forest

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.” The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.” The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.” The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?” The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!” He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?” The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
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Funny Dumb Blonde Jokes On Theft

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. "What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"
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Clean Blonde Jokes On Dogs

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.” “Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.” A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!” “I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!” “That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!
short blonde girl jokes Contributed By: Sonia Janet, Argentina.

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Funny Blondes Jokes

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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Stupid Blonde Jokes On Mail

Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?" Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?" Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
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Good Blonde Jokes On Cruise

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."
hilarious blonde jokes Contributed By: Carlos Spencer, Spain.

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Hilarious Blonde Jokes On Cell Phone

A blond went to the dentist. “I want you to paint my teeth blue.” – the blond. “What!?” – exclaimed the dentist. “Just do it!!” – the blond. So the dentist painted her teeth blue. The blond went back to her car and called her friend to talk about many things. While she was driving a policeman stopped her. “Mam, your were talking on your mobile while you were driving. Here is how much you must pay.” “Oh come on!! Don’t you see I have blue-tooth?!”
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Short Blonde Jokes On Exams

The blonde sat down ready to take her math exam. She knew she would cheat since she had the smartest kid in her grade sitting beside her. She copied his whole test page by page. Feeling confident in her answers she gets up and gives her paper to the teacher. She stands there waiting for the teacher to respond in amazment. The teacher went through the test and said, “I know you cheated. You copied Jim’s paper including his name.”
stupid blonde jokes Contributed By: Denis Lionne, Switzerland.

Blonde Hair Jokes

There was a blonde, she decided to go to a hair-dresser. She walked along the street, and found one that had a sign on the front of it saying, yes, we are open. When she had finished and paid, and was about to walk out the door, she noticed a sign on the BACK of the door saying, sorry we’re closed…and wondered how long it would be before she got home.
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Male Blonde Jokes

A blond lived on a farm. He didn't get many visitors, so I went to see him...when I got there, he was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to him, and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight. He replied that he was trying to win a Nobel Peace prize. I said, "Well, that's great, but what are you doing in the paddock?" He replied, "I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had to do to win the Nobel Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field."
blonde funny jokes Contributed By: Ronnie Johnson, Jamaica.

Blonde Jokes Funny On Shoes

Did you hear about the blond who was arrested for shoplifting shoes from K-Mart? They caught him just as he was hopping out the front door. (U.S. K-Mart marketing note: pairs of shoes are typically sold connected together by a short string.)
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Dumb Blonde Jokes Clean

Did you hear about the blonde who was shopping in Macy's when the power went out? She was trapped for three hours on an escalator. Hear about her?! That was my wife. Incidently, she brought the escalator home with her. (She'll buy anything marked down!)
blonde joke of the day Contributed By: Denver Wrigley, Iceland.

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Really Funny Blonde Jokes

A professor invented a lie detecting chair. Whenever anybody sitting in it told a lie, the chair would open up and dump the liar on the floor. During an experiment, a brunette sat in the chair and the professor asked her to tell about herself. She began, "I think you are the best teacher I've ever had." The chair immediately dumped her on the floor. After the brunette left in a snit, a blond sat in the chair. The professor asked him to tell something of his life. He began, "I think -" The next thing he knew, he was sitting in the floor.
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